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Although everyone has a slightly different idea of their ideal home, most people will concur that their ideal neighborhood is full of welcoming people and neighbors they can count on in an emergency, whether it’s someone to water your garden while you’re away or keep an eye out for a package while you’re at work.
But just like any friendship, getting to know your neighbors takes time and effort, albeit perhaps not as much as you might think.
Researchers interviewed 334 refugees who had obtained permanent residency in Australia for a Settlement Services International report from 2020. Despite having trouble conversing with their neighbors due to language barriers, the majority of those surveyed reported having a high level of trust for their neighbors. This trust was developed through routine interactions rather than in-depth conversations over the backyard fence, demonstrating the value of a passing smile or quick hello.
The advantages of getting to know your neighbors are real. According to a long-term study conducted by Australian National University researchers and published earlier this year, residents of neighborhoods with positive social perceptions were less likely to suffer from depression, anxiety, and loneliness during the pandemic.
The not-for-profit organization Relationships Australia, which created Neighbour Day, says spring is the ideal time to start mingling with your neighbors, even if it’s just by waving at them at first. We all spend more time outside as the weather warms up; the kids play outside, you work in the garden, or you go for a stroll in the evening.
Good day.
The best way to get to know a neighbor is to make sure they are aware that you are neighbors, which makes sense. The simplest way to accomplish that is through brief, repeated interactions. There are always chances to connect, Tebbey says, and they can be as simple as a nod, a wave, or a friendly “g’day” as you put the trash out.
Tebbey advises scheduling your outings to take place “when other people are out and about as well” to avoid blocking yourself from these opportunities.
Get enthused
Tebbey advises doing whatever makes you feel at ease when it comes to meeting your neighbors, whether that’s leaving a note on a building notice board, posting in a neighborhood Facebook group, or striking up a conversation with someone while you’re waiting for the elevator. You are more likely to agree to these first meetings if you don’t feel anxious about them.
“It’s amazing how suddenly you’ll connect with people who share those interests if you focus on your own interests,” said Nick Tebbey.
It’s critical to ask questions and, more importantly, to remember people’s responses once the conversation with a new neighbor has begun.
Tebbey claims, “I don’t mean to be a nosy neighbor, but inquire about what people are up to. Ask what they are planting if they are gardening; show interest in what others have to say. And once someone shares something with you—like the name of their dog or the location of their upcoming vacation—try your hardest to remember it so you can carry on the conversation the next time you run into each other, even if that means writing it down once you get home.
It’s not about making grand gestures or telling your neighbors everything about you. Actually, it’s almost the opposite,” claims Tebbey. It involves brief but meaningful exchanges and showing interest in one another’s lives, but there are no expectations involved.
Seek out common ground
It’s amazing how quickly you’ll connect with people who share your interests if you concentrate on them, says Tebbey. “You bond with someone right away.”
Before she went, Holly Scott, 32, who lives in Woolloomooloo, Sydney, had lived close to the Bourke Street Community Garden for almost a year. Scott, who has since moved even closer to the garden, claims that she was drawn in by the composting system.
She explains that she initially joined the garden because she needed a place other than the red bin, where her kitchen waste goes to the landfill, to dispose of it. Although I still find composting to be very satisfying, once I started going, I fell in love with the other aspects of the garden and became involved in things.
Scott is now on the planning committee and serves as the garden’s treasurer. She has made many new friends in her neighborhood thanks to the garden. On a Saturday morning, it’s practically impossible for me to go to the markets or walk my dog Basil without running into someone from the garden.
The small details
The neighbor of Daniel and Luke Mancuso initially alerted their aunt, who lived nearby, when their mother was killed by their father in 2013. In times of tragedy, the neighbor, whom they amiably refer to as Yiayia (Greek for grandmother), became a source of comfort by delivering meals over the fence.
The brothers have worked to spread the value of caring for your neighbors, even in the smallest ways, since publishing their book Yiayia Next Door.
There’s no need to work very hard. Bringing your neighbor’s trash cans closer to their house or exchanging wine bottles are two straightforward examples, according to Daniel. “We wouldn’t have had any closure or hope if it weren’t for our sweet angel next door and her generosity in a time when we didn’t see the world as kind.
You can create deep connections with those around you if you put some thought and effort into it. There is no better time to begin as the weather warms up and the days begin to seem a little longer.
