Tobi Oluwatoyin
Do you ever experience a lot of negative thinking in your every-day life? Maybe you sometimes find it very difficult to think positively and change your negative thoughts! This is a common problem and affects many people. Me you, but it is, hundred percent possible to overcome it.
It is and can be hard to know how to stop (y)our negative thinking from happening or becoming more worse, but there are ways that you can overcome this. First, I think it’s worth knowing why we have negative thoughts in the first place and the impact they can have.
Here’s Why We Have Negative Thoughts:
Most people experience negative thinking at some point due to anxiety or stress – this can often power the negative thoughts. The reason is because when you are stressed out or anxious, you are more likely to see the negative side of things and think of worst your circumstances.
We can also have negative thoughts when we worry too much about the future or past. If by chance you’re thinking of things that can go wrong or worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet, this can cause repetitive overthinking leading to negative thoughts.
Negative thoughts also happens when you are feeling low or having a bad day. This could or could’ve caused you to feel bad about yourself, blame yourself and point out the negatives you shouldn’t. If this keeps up every day, this can lead to depression – so it’s very important to learn how to overcome all sort of negative thoughts that comes your way.
Clearing Your Mind of Negativity
Before discussing ways that can help you overcome your negative thoughts, it’s probably best to talk about these types of unavoidable negative thoughts most of us have.
These are all likely common examples and can differ for each person, but you may be able to relate to some, if not all of them. It’ll be good to be able to recognize them when they occur to you so that you can work towards overcoming them immediately.
Here’s an explanation of negative thought examples and how we can overcome them.
-
Through Mind Reading
One of these negative thinking is “through-mind-reading”. This is the point where we automatically think that we know what others are thinking. For example, maybe someone you texted ignored a text message from you.
A negative mind reading thought would be like: “They are all ignoring me because they’re mad at me.” This is a thought where, despite the other person involved not telling you how they feel or are feeling directly, you try to believe that you know what they are thinking.
This can be so much damaging as you may start to distance yourself from friends or family over something that might not be true as you think. If you will-can learn to not jump to conclusions and ask people how they feel directly, it could save you from a lot of unnecessary stress and also give you a relationship free of troubles.
-
Through Guilty Thinking
Another similar type of negative thinking is “guilt-thinking”. This is where we tend to use words such as ‘should’, ‘must’, and ‘if only’ when talking about mistakes or things we have done that’s already in the past.
Even though no one can change the past, it doesn’t always stop our human minds from thinking and dwelling over it. A lot of people normally experience guilty thinking when they are dwelling over mistakes that they have already made.
For example, maybe something unexpectedly happened, you might say ‘I shouldn’t have gone to the gym today.’, and this could cause you to feel guilty for actually going to the gym and you may start putting yourself down. Instead of falling for guilty thinking, try and say ‘It has happened today, but that’s OK. There’s always tomorrow.’
This way, you are wisely acknowledging what happened in a positive way and you aren’t making yourself feel anymore guilty for anything that happened. If likely, you start to hear guilty thinking creeping in, try and change the narrative and throw the feelings of guilt away.
-
Through Fortune Predictions
Fortune prediction is a type of unavoidable negative thinking where you predict the worst outcome that could happen. When you focus on a situation that you will have in the future, you are likely to presume or assume the worst and think something unplanned is going to happen.
If you got a job and had a job interview, this type of negative thinking might cause you to think something like: ‘I might not get this job. I just know I’m probably going to mess up and be too nervous.’ This is fortune prediction; you are predicting the worst possible negative outcome for a situation that hasn’t even happened yet.
This is a very bad habit to have, as it can actually cause you to stop striving for your goals, take any risks or believe in your own self. Fortune predictions can have a huge impact on your self-esteem and the best thing to do is know and understand that you can’t predict the future no matter how certain you might be, and there are so many possible outcomes, that’s not worth worrying about.
-
Through Comparisons
In our society today, it can become so much easier to compare yourself to others, especially through social Medias. Everyone uploads their best pictures, videos and stories, which can sometimes leave us feeling less and jealous.
The moment you start comparing yourself to others, with thoughts such as, ‘He-She looks so much prettier-handsome than me’, or ‘They have everything going well for them, what do I have?’, it can be incredibly easy to develop a sad mood and feel depressed.
One thing that is always worth remembering is that everyone has their own flaws, and no one’s life is hundred percent perfect. If you can take a look at yourself in a positive light and remember that other people have difficulties and things they aren’t happy about too, and even some people out there still wish to be where you are at least, this can make it easier to try and stay positive.
-
Through Blaming
Another type of negative thinking is ‘blaming’. When you start to blame yourself or others for problems or mistakes that happen, this can cause you to feel like you are a failure and you can bring yourself down, causing bad and negative mood.
You may find that when any big or little thing happens, you blame yourself for. It might be difficult to look at things from a different perspective, but it can really help you to change your way of negative thinking to a positive view.
However, you might also find that you are blaming others for your own problems and not taking any of the responsibility for yourself. This also can be just as harmful as blaming yourself, as you can jump to conclusions and possibly lose good relationships too.
This is an especially negative way of thinking if you are blaming others, as you might find it difficult to try changing your situation and looking at things from a different perspective.
Here’s How to Overcome These Negative Thoughts
Now that we know and understand the types of unavoidable negative thinking, it’s time we discuss the different things anyone can do to overcome it. This doesn’t mean that you will entirely or forever get rid of negative thinking; it’s something that everyone will go through.
However, there are many ways that you can challenge and overcome negative thinking when they appear. Since you know how to recognize negative thinking, read on to find out what to do when they try to show up.
-
Overcome Negativity Through Meditation
Meditation is a really great way to refocus your mind and bring attention to the present moment and how you feel. It can help to bring you back to the moment, so it can be a great practice to do if you are in the middle of having hard time with negative thoughts and can’t seem to stop them.
Meditation can relaxing and the way it works: if any negative thoughts appear while you are meditating, you let them in and then let them go. You actually recognize they are there, but you don’t give them any attention and focus on your meditation.
If you have been having negative thoughts and can spare 10-15 minutes or so, try to meditate and focus on your breathing to help calm you down and take your attention away from the negative thoughts.
-
Overcome Negativity by Reframing Your Thinking
Anytime you feel that the negative thoughts are coming up, you can start to try and reframe them.
Maybe in your mind you could ask yourself why you might be having these thoughts! Is it because of something that’s happened? Is there any other way you can look at it, maybe from a different perspective?
Another way to reframe your negative thoughts is to try and change the narrative. For example, if you have a thought such as ‘I’m really going to fail this exam today.’, instead of that, reframe it in a more positive way: ‘I know right now I’m worried about failing this exam, but as long as I try my best, that’s all that matters.’ Then you’re good!
If you start to reframe your negative thoughts, it can and will really help you to put things into perspective and change your thinking to a more positive language.
-
Overcome Negativity by Surrounding Yourself with Positive People
Do you ever have or had a group of friends that put you down? Or made comments that were unhelpful and negative? It can negatively influence your own thinking and how you view yourself too.
Surrounding yourself with utmost positive people can help to also change your own negative thinking. If you are feeling down, positive friends and family can offer advice and give you a different view an rather a way forward on what it is you are worried about.
Believe me, you don’t want people around you who feed and fuel your negative thinking, as this can just make things worse for you. Be sure to surround yourself with positive, supportive people who can lift you up every time and not bring you down always.
-
Overcome Negativity by Using Affirmations
We can explain affirmations as statements that we can say to ourselves to keep us in a positive mood and show ourselves self-love and positive energy. This can help if you are feeling particularly negative at any point.
You could use affirmations such as ‘I am feeling positive and I know I am going to have a bright day.’ or ‘I will make sure to spread positivity to others and also to myself.’ If you can do this, it might truly help to overcome any negativity you might be facing.
Anytime you decide to say your affirmations, try to really believe in what you are saying and fully focus on the positive feelings you get too.
There are so many reasons why you may be surrounded by negativity; it can be from the people you surround yourself with; your environment; the way that you perceive and talk to yourself. Guess what, it’s time to start getting over these negativities.
